Struggling to get along with someone?

Use an eagle’s game plan to turn things around

By Nicky VanValkenburgh


Is there a difficult person in your life? We all have enemies. Perhaps you’ve tried to be nice. You’ve even tried to talk to them and win them over. Unfortunately, nothing seems to work. No matter what you do, this person is angry, disrespectful, or mean-spirited. How should you respond?


1. Don’t take it personally. Your enemy has unresolved issues that have nothing to do with you. Yes, you’d like to get along and live in peace. The best way for you to do that is to accept the situation for what it is. Remember these 12 magic words: “Not everyone is going to like me, and I’m ok with that.” Repeat this phrase to yourself (like an affirmation) when dealing with your enemy.


2. Set boundaries. If you have to work with your enemy, focus your attention on the task at hand. Be business-like with your enemy. Treat them with dignity and respect, but keep things impersonal. Emotionally distance yourself from your enemy. If they start to pick a fight, don’t get into it with them. Refuse to engage in their battle. Instead, stay calm and level headed. Address the situation calmly, but remain emotionally detached. If you must, walk away from a bad situation.stress reduction articles


3. Let it go. You can’t control what your enemy says or does, but you can take charge of your response. Remember that the opposite of love is not hate. It is indifference. That’s the best way to deal with your enemy. You’re not going to get upset, and let them ruin your day. Instead, you’re going to let things go.


It isn’t easy dealing with difficult people. Joel Osteen, in his excellent book, “Become A Better You,” suggests that we think of ourselves as eagles, soaring high above the clouds. Yes, there will always be buzzards and scavengers. Let them crawl around, fight amongst themselves, and continue to be miserable. You refuse to stoop to their level. Like an eagle, you can spread your wings and soar to the top of the mountain. From the top, you can look down, and intelligently and rationally assess the situation. You might even laugh at the absurdity of it all.


From the top of the mountain, be sure to enjoy the spectacular view. Inhale the crisp mountain air. As you relax and let go, you may experience a burst of creativity. Perhaps you will try something new, or adjust your approach in dealing with your enemy. Whatever it is, you’re determined to put your best foot forward. Life is too short to be caught up in anger, petty disputes or frustration. You’re a victor, not a victim. And you’re ready for any challenge that comes your way.


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