How to Make Friends & Influence People:
A Quick Networking Strategy

By Nicky VanValkenburgh

How can you meet new people and network in your community? For starters, take genuine interest in people that you meet at the bank, grocery store, gym and checkout lines.

1. Strike up a conversation. Whether you’re shopping, standing in line at the bank or grocery store --  make a conscious effort to talk to people. Take the initiative, and make the first move. You’ll be amazed when happens when you talk to strangers.

2. Find common ground. Ok, you’re both frustrated about waiting in this long line. What can you say to get the other person talking? Come on, say something! What you’re looking for is an “instant connection” that jumpstarts your conversation. It’s a spark that ignites a fire inside you. Now that the fire is lit, you’re curious. You want to know more about this person. It’s easy to talk to someone once you establish common ground. 

3.  Show genuine interest. When you’re genuinely interested in someone, you ask questions, lean forward, and make eye contact. Try not to dominate the conversation by talking about yourself excessively. Remember, it’s not about you; it’s about them. They talk and you listen.

4. Remember their name. “A person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound in any language,” says Dale Carnegie, in his classic bestseller, How to Make Friends and Influence People. Remembering someone’s name (and gently using it in conversation) shows you care and this person is important to you.

5. Don’t be too critical. When you meet someone, do you find yourself looking for flaws? Do you silently criticize other people’s clothes, hairstyle or physical appearance? Being critical and judgmental tends to backfire. All that negativity only makes you feel worse. Instead of looking for things you dislike about others, make a new habit of looking for something positive, productive or spiritual in others. Strive for unconditional positive acceptance. You can accept people regardless of the clothes they wear or what they look like. By turning off your inner critic, you’ll be a lot happier and make more friends in the process.

6. Make the other person feel important, and do so sincerely. A little respect and kindness goes a long way. When you make someone feel good about themselves, they will like you. An upbeat, friendly and optimistic personality is contagious.

Ok, you’re talking to someone and building some rapport. What’s next? You may want to exchange business cards, or phone numbers and emails. If it’s appropriate, you could ask them to join you for a cup of coffee, make plans for lunch or invite them to an upcoming event.  It making plans seems out-of-place, just smile and say,  “Have a great day!” You’ll probably run into them again sometime, if it’s meant to be.

There is a lot more that could be said about networking with people, but here’s the bottom line: Know what you want, take initiative, and have a confident expectation that it will happen. That’s the secret to success, and it works for people from all walks of life. Now. let's go out and make some new friends!

Return to Articles page